I can’t decide if these four months have gone quickly or slowly – maybe both at the same time if that makes sense? He’s slowly transitioning from a baby into a tiny person and its so cool to see. Everyday his cheeks get rounder, his smile gets bigger and his eyes a little brighter.
As much as I love being a mum and I truly can’t imagine life without Griffin, I’m not gonna lie; he’s hard work. We barely leave the house because he gets so upset in the car it ends up making me cry and it’s really not worth it. He’s the same in the stroller so I end up carrying him with one arm and pushing the stroller with the other. I’m so tired I don’t even feel tired anymore but I’m forgetful and impatient and emotional. Finding the time to do something for myself like read a book or paint my nails is just a pipe dream at present. I feel bad complaining because I’m aware that I chose to have a child and this is my life now – no one said it was going to be easy! But I also hate when people feel that they need to pretend everything is perfect. I have no shame in admitting that some days I really struggle and look forward to his bedtime, nor do I have any problem acknowledging that Griffin is a terrible sleeper who’s nowhere sleeping through the night and who probably never will! It’s a good thing hes so gorgeous huh!!
Feeding: This kid loves to eat! Every time I offer him food he attacks my breast so furiously like hes been starved for days – when actually its hardly ever longer than two hours! I have a feeling he’s going to love solids. Sleeping: Worse! I didn’t believe that was possible but the four month regression hit us hard. He currently cat naps in the day (unless hes in my arms) and wakes every two hours at night. The only thing that resettles him in the night is feeding even though I’m positive hes not hungry. Milestones: He’s holding his head up, rolling from his back to stomach, grabbing his feet and reaching for things. He’s also got the tip of one tooth showing. Things he loves: Staring at his play mat, listening to me sing, being carried by daddy, staring at himself in the mirror or on the phone. Things he hates: Not being paid attention to, being in the car or pram.
Easter is hands down my second favourite holiday (second only to Christmas because presents!). When I say I ate my weight in treats over the weekend – I mean it! I’m not one of those girls who just has one piece of cake and then declares how much they have eaten – I eat the whole cake and then ask what’s for the next meal. Inspired by hygge I I made and ate cinnamon buns, Norwegian apple cake and Swedish meatballs all of which were delicious, not to mention a thousand hot cross buns and easter eggs – I don’t regret a single bite! But I may have to go for a couple of long walks this week :).
Apart from eating we had such a nice time just hanging out together. I don’t think Guy and I have spent so much time together having fun since the couple of weeks before Griffin was born and we were on holiday. We walked on the beach, read books together, visited his dad, had my parents round for afternoon tea, sat and chatted to Griffin as we sipped our coffee, and sampled Guy’s latest craft beer brew as we watched Broadchurch and 13 Reasons Why. Griffin was happy and relaxed most of the weekend and then on Monday we woke to rosy red cheeks, buckets of Apart from some unsettledness on Monday due to teething Griffin was pretty happy and relaxed all weekend. He even fell asleep completely on his own two nights in a row!! Hopefully it continues!
Something I really want to do now I have a family of my own is to celebrate holidays and special occasions; to commemorate them with delicious food, hanging out with friends and just having some fun. I want Griffin and his siblings to grow up really enjoying life and celebrating every day.
p.s Griffin got sick Easter Monday and has been out all week 😦 – hence the late post!
Griffin has left the world of newborns and entered into infancy! Sometimes I look at him and think “you’re so little!” but then I look back at old photos of him and realise how big he now is! According to Plunket hes in the 90th percentile for height, and the 50th for his weight so no longer the fatso pork chop he once was.
Feeding: Eating is still his favourite thing to do. I feed him every three hours during the day and normally twice at night. Sleeping: Crap (still). He wakes two or three times at night which is okay, and he cat naps during the day time but takes quite a while to fall asleep, and it’s still in my arms. Hoping to see some improvements over the next couple of months. Milestones: He can support his own head most of the time, sucks his fists and is starting to co-ordinate his limbs to kick things. Things he loves: Books, talking, nursery rhymes, sitting in his bouncinette watching us in the kitchen. Things he hates: Sleeping, going to bed, staying in bed, not being awake…;)
I’m not sure why but this month has flown by so quickly. Maybe it’s because the weather is changing and we’re pulling on new clothes, or maybe its because finally things are starting to get a little easier. Whatever it is I’m making every effort to soak up the last of these warm days. Griffin and I have been walking down to the beach most days and hanging out on a blanket under the shade of a big pohutukawa tree. I take so much joy from just watching him experience all these new things; the wind blowing on his face, the grass tickling his feet, the sunlight making him squint.
Part of me wishes I could freeze time and just stay in this stage for a while – he’s little but not so little and I love it – he’s cuddly yet happy to be put down and have tummy time, he’s smiling more and more every day and he babbles away to us throughout the day. But then another part of me is desperately looking forward to the next stage where he actually sleeps on his own. Speaking of sleep – one of my favourite times of the day is when he wakes in the morning and I bring him into bed with me for a cuddle. I turn on ‘his light’ and unzip his swaddle and we lie there and chat for a few minutes before getting up and having breakfast. He’s so warm and squishy and smiley I love those moments!
I feel like every day he’s doing something a little better than the day before – whether it’s holding his head up or paying attention to something for a longer time. He’s really into his books at the moment (we just got him his very own library card!) – it’s so cool to see him focusing in on the different pictures.
He’s just so damm cute!
Feeding: Still an eating machine! He feeds around every 3 hours in the day and at night. I try to give him two feeds close together in the early evening so that he’ll sleep a longer stretch. Sleeping: Not great. He went through a period where he stopped sleeping in the daytime completely which was awful. He does take naps now but only on me – if I put him down he wakes. He’s okay at night but we’re hoping he gets better as he gets older. Milestones: He can rub his eyes when tired, smile and giggle, and I swear hes trying to crawl during tummy time! Things he loves: Ceilings, lights and curtains – he can gaze at them alll day long (esp when hes supposed to be falling asleep). Things he hates: Being in the car or pram 😦 which means we spend a lot of time at home.
In some ways it feels like two months has flown by – especcially when I look at photos of him when he was first born! But in other ways it feels like it’s been longer than two months. We’re going through a tough stage right now with his sleeping but it will get easier I know.
In a matter of or days, our little boy will be here nestled in my arms, slipping in and out of consciousness and listening to us whisper words of love and wonder. I’m not sure I have the words to describe how we’re feeling – a heady mix of excitement, love and anticipation.
These past few days have been such a lovely time of quiet. Admittedly, not how I expected them to be! I envisaged spending afternoons on the beach reading a book and writing in my journal, baking something sweet each day…then the realities of late pregnancy hit (aka aching and swollen feet, sore hips and the inability to spend any amount of time in one position) and I was forced to re-evaluate. Instead I’ve been splitting my time between the couch where I’ve been reading, my bed where I’ve been meditating and napping, and the beach where I’ve been walking each morning and evening.
Guy’s been off work since just before Christmas and since we’ve just stuck around home we’ve had lots of time together to just hang out. It feels a bit like we’re on holiday, like we’re renting an Air BnB and it’s all going to be over soon. So we’re making an extra effort to soak up these last few quiet moments, the last time it will be just the two of us.